“Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,'   and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?” Matthew 19:4-5

This was Jesus speaking.  The Pharisees had come to test Him and their question was: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” Is it not amazing that, in our time, couples will look for just any reason to divorce? Jesus, in His characteristic reaction to such a question, answered in the negative and alluded to the fact that, in the beginning, God designed the marriage institution to be permanent. It is not something to go into carelessly and get out of when we feel like.

So, how do you guard against separation or divorce?

1. Marry your friend. By this, I mean you should take time in choosing a spouse and give time for adequate courtship. This will enable you to understand the nature and characteristic of the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.
2. If you are married (whether you are the husband or wife), your priority will be to make your marriage the best it can be; that is, you must be willing to constantly work at it, knowing that

1. no one is perfect; we all have our weaknesses and idiosyncrasies. Any wonder someone defined marriage as a union of two people who have covenanted to constantly forgive each other, and
2. it is common knowledge (although some do not know it) that our most cherished relationships are the ones we hurt the most. That is why the Bible would say in 1 Corinthians 13:4, “Love is patient…”(NIV). If only we will be more tolerant of our spouse and not blow up the roof every time we feel offended or irritated, we will be encouraging our spouse to improve in those aspects of their lives we have problems with and be making our marriages happier or better.

It will be good at this juncture to find out why God created the institution of marriage because as we have come to know, God never does anything without a purpose. A good understanding of this will keep us focused and help us weather the storms of life. So, what was God’s purpose (what were His goals) for instituting marriage?

1. To provide the needed help for the man. And this is so because the male gender was first created. He was not just created, but was created to accomplish something which otherwise would not be accomplished. So, marriage, in every sense, was designed to help every couple accomplish a divine purpose. That is why God said in Genesis 1:26, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion….”  
2. To attract the favour of God. As the Bible says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). And as someone has said, “One day of favour is better than a thousand years of labour.” You will discover that when a man and a woman get married, they attract even more respect from the community – church, workplace or wherever they find themselves.

The truth is, when you are married, you and your spouse become heirs together of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7). Again, the Bible states in Ecclesiastes 4:9, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.” And God expects you to dwell in unity with your spouse because that is the place He commands His blessing (Psalm 133).

When one considers all the goals and, invariably, benefits of marriage, you will realize that there is a behind-the-scene strategy to tear married couples apart. And that strategy is of the devil. So, do not let ignorance rob you of your blessings.

Now, if God will not do anything without a purpose, then it will be foolhardy to get into marriage without a purpose. As Myles Munroe put it, “Where purpose is not known abuse is inevitable….” So, could the many problems, separations and divorces we witness on a daily basis be the result of our ignorance of the purpose of marriage?

The question then becomes: What is your purpose for your marriage? Does it align with God’s original purpose? Do you have goals? If you do not, why not prayerfully find out what you should achieve with this divine union and aim for it? I believe, by the grace of God, you will not need to divorce or even separate as God, in His infinite mercies, will strengthen you in your choice and resolve to stay married and enjoy it.

Have a glorious time for the rest of your married life, in Jesus’ name.

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